i deserv, i mean lik, yu no, more betr edutasion

the wurld aint fare and i deserv lots more betr stuff then i get.  mostli i deserv a gudd edutasion so i kan hav lotsa monie two liv gud and sav th wurld like i wanna.

i weasted twelve years  of mi lyfe in skools and done gradueted. stil peple tell me i kant bearly read an rite.  i kan but if i kant aint mi falt.  its th falt of mi parnts and evrybudy elce. skool was reel hard and sumtimes i had to go irregardless of weather i wanted too or not.  if i had been bourne mani years ago ida been a membr

Al Capp's SWINE

of thys grup excep maibe thei wodn’t hav let mi joyn becaus thei coulda thout i wasn smrt enugh o sumfin.  stupd jrks.

Know evn tho I wel kwalified i kant get no gud job like i deserv that pais lota of gud monie sew i kan liv lik i wanna no mater ho hard i tri.  them kapitalysts wont gime ani and nither wl anibodi els. wifout lots monie i kant liv lik i wanna and mak the wurld a betr plac lik i wanna. its unfare.

therefor I dimand the folowyn:

two be sent to ani kolege of mi choyce and givn free tuytun,  buks, fud, lotsa monie fur livin lik i wanna and a gud playce to liv four for years or hoevr longe it take mi to git thru. since im rel smrt an dont ned mor then a koleg degre aniwai it shudnt take mi two longue maibe jus a cupla yers.

to be aloud to do whatsoevyr i want whensoevr i so want and not two have nobodi interfre wif mi lyfe.

not too have two studi nothin i don want two and not too hav two studi nothin tuo hard.

two be aloud to study whatsoevyr i want, and whinevr, wearevyr, and howevir, i want.

not two be bothured with no grades and no dekadnt stuf lik thet.

to git graduated whn i sa im ready. them kolege techers dont no nuthin and r stuped.

to be garaunted a govrnmnt subsudie or at leest a hi payin job lik segretari (i kan tipe rel gud) o educasin o sumfin whn i graduated at leest $75000 each yer for startrs.

not too hav to pai no taxs for ten yers aftr i graduated. taxs on peple lik me r unfare.

thse nonnegotible demands is veri reasonabil and is mi guarantyud humen rites undr the konstituton.

thets all i dimand write no and i want all off thim write no. If i don’t get thim al write no ill go on a hungary stryke and thatll sho yo stupyd jyrks. When i get thim heres what ill mak hapyn:

th sees gonna stop getin hire.

th ayr wil b clen jus lik mi.

th clymat will stop changin.

thirll be lotsa good stuf fur averybody an itl al be frie.

peopel will vot jus lik i tel thm.

hohoho! neu stufs waa in and old stufs gotta go!

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About danmillerinpanama

I was graduated from Yale University in 1963 with a B.A. in economics and from the University of Virginia School of law, where I was the notes editor of the Virginia Law Review in 1966. Following four years of active duty with the Army JAG Corps, with two tours in Korea, I entered private practice in Washington, D.C. specializing in communications law. I retired in 1996 to sail with my wife, Jeanie, on our sailboat Namaste to and in the Caribbean. In 2002, we settled in the Republic of Panama and live in a very rural area up in the mountains. I have contributed to Pajamas Media and Pajamas Tatler. In addition to my own blog, Dan Miller in Panama, I an an editor of Warsclerotic and contribute to China Daily Mail when I have something to write about North Korea.
This entry was posted in Could be worse, Cultural differences, Drug legalization, Empathy, Government reliance, Idiocy, Internet, Political Correctness, Politics, Satire, United States. Bookmark the permalink.

7 Responses to i deserv, i mean lik, yu no, more betr edutasion

  1. pnordman says:

    Prizles! U’s iz AWSUM!

  2. Pingback: Friday Night Roundup « nebraskaenergyobserver

  3. Pingback: Opinion Forum » i deserv, i mean lik, yu no, more betr edutasion

  4. Jim White says:

    Have you read a newspaper or magazine lately? I think the author of your story somehow got into college, graduated and became editor of most of the print media.

  5. Ruvy says:

    Gud spelin r overeated.

    • Ruvy,

      Whi ys thts tru. It i dndnt hav spl chkr id hav a bigr problm. Ths tim i dint us tht.

      More seriously, perhaps the “abbreviations” commonly used on Twitter and for text messages contribute to the problem.

  6. Bob says:

    Please remove my email address
    Live near wash dc
    Get enough political garbage
    Hope alls well
    Bob

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