That’s what he says has been his greatest problem as our President.
Therefore, it must be true.
President Obama’s plight is a sad one, because he has done an historic and truly remarkable job in every other respect. Due to my post-partisan concern for his continued success, I have thought long and hard about this, his greatest problem, and have tried to help him. It is now clear that he has simply had story-tellers’ cramp and that he needs only more stories as models for his own.
Here’s one that should help. It’s a story I heard in Venezuela from a Venezuelan more than a decade ago. Since President Obama has told us that Venezuela is not a serious security threat to the United States, it’s probably safe to tell the story here. It still rings true as to Venezuela. It also rings true for the United States, albeit to a lesser but increasing degree. Here’s the story:
There was a crew race between a German and a Venezuelan team. The German team won, as usual, and the Venezuelan team had a serious postmortem discussion to try and understand why it had happened, again. After much debate the reason became clear: The Germans had eleven rowers and one coxswain to sit at the back of the boat, look forward, steer, and coordinate the rowers. The Venezuelans had one rower and only eleven coxswains. Immediately, the solution to their problem became obvious: they needed more coxswains.
This story confirms President Obama’s deeply considered view that since he has not told enough stories he needs to tell more; it should therefore be pleasing unto him. It also coincides with his view that we have too many private businesses failing to guide their own destinies satisfactorily. Therefore, we need more regulations and regulators to sit at the back of the boat in Washington. There, they will be privy to President Obama’s wise guidance and, based upon it, look forward with clear vision as they steer and coordinate with remarkable success however many private enterprises remain as President Obama creates the best possible balance between regulators and private business. Perhaps President Obama Himself will deign to make occasional field guidance tours, as does North Korea’s Dear Great Leader Kim Jong-un.
Surely, my suggestion will be well received — perhaps more appreciated even than a three dollar campaign contribution. In return, I shall hope for no more than an all expense paid dinner at the White House with our historically great President and his charming First Lady. Conceivably, even the great TOTUS may find time to join us.