Anxious to put the petty matter of Iranian nukes behind them so that peace everlasting can be brought to Israel and Palestine,
they are be eager to compete.
The game will be televised with simultaneous translations in all known languages except, at Secretary Kerry’s request, English. The prize, should Rouhani win, will be more opportunities for nukes but no sanctions and, should Kerry win, no fewer opportunities for nukes but fewer sanctions.
Here are the agreed upon rules:
President Obama will flip Secretary Kerry and Iranian Supreme Leader Khamenei will flip President Rouhani. Secretary Kerry is expected to win the toss due to President Obama’s greater experience in flip-flopping. Should both contestants land in the same posture, the flipping and flopping will continue until one lands on his head and the other lands on his
ass tail. Whichever lands on his head will go first in —–
Lets Make a Deal.
The winner of the flip flop will make his offer and his opponent will accept or reject it. If (as is expected) he rejects it, he will make his own offer. If half an hour passes with no resolution (as is also expected), the game will proceed to the next phase, when Israeli Prime Minister Netanyahu and French President Hollande will appear and jointly make an offer. Both contestants are expected to reject it out of hand, whatever it may be.
Then, President Obama will appear, proclaim that He is the smartest person in the World, make an offer and stamp his feet. Kerry is expected to accept His offer. President Rouhani is expected also to accept it, with only a few minor modifications. The modifications will increase the sanctions to be lifted, increase the numbers of additional centrifuges to be permitted and allow full and free inspections if agreed upon exactly one year in advance. President Obama, Secretary Kerry, Supreme Leader Khamenei and President Rouhani will shake hands on the common sense, fair and reasonable deal on which they have agreed.
Due to this dramatic game changer, Secretary Kerry is expected to glide across the stage to hug President Rouhani after which President Obama will perform a Kenyan victory dance with Secretary Kerry.
Prime Minister Netanyahu will then return to Israel to orchestrate an Electromagnetic Pulse attack on Iran and French President Hollande will return to France to coordinate the accelerated production of victory flags, to which they are unaccustomed.
It may not turn out exactly like that, but it will probably be pretty close.