Fresh from His historic success in banishing fear of Iranian nuclear weapons, President Obama today announced a similar approach to
banishing our concerns about crime in the United States.
The Obama-Kerry plan to banish the threat of Iran’s development of nuclear weaponry by not mentioning it — thereby shielding her devoutly sensitive leaders from any embarassment that might result from learning that even they suspect it — is working as intended. It harmonises beautifully with His new plan to banish our concerns about crime.
Although multifaceted and multicultural, the plan can be summarized as follows:
Those who commit crimes are sadly undermedicated and otherwise suffer from inadequate medical care. ObamaCare is already eliminating the source of their displeasure, the driving force behind their criminal activities. As the ObamaCare miracle continues, our concerns about crime will vanish as well.
Sadly, a few words about “crime” had to appear in the summary for the sake of initial clarity. However, just as the official text of the November 24th “deal” with Iran does not mention nulear weaponry development — clarity being undesirable — the official text of His historic war on crime initiative will not mention crime either. Since neither the word “crime” nor any of its derivatives will appear in the full text, there will be no need to look for them there. If and when the full text becomes available, the few who mistakenly think they have nothing more useful to do than to read it need not bother. They should instead devote their efforts to singing loud hosannas unto President Obama for His miraculous successes in all endeavors.
Although the confidence of some of We the People in President Obama may have been tarnished briefly by an arguably imperfect rollout of the ObamaCare website (healthglitch.gov), it now works almost as well as a
disfunctional cuckoo clock. Therefore, His new antisocial conduct initiative will also work, period. We know that it will because He does not make promises lightly. Breaking them lightly is a wholly different matter, which need not detain us.
ObamaCare personnel are waiting for us.
President Obama has already told His Youth Corpse members to find victims of American society’s inhumane pre-ObamaCare lack of suitable medical care, which had driven them to lives of (allegedly) antisocial behavior but who now have ObamaCare and are becoming model citizens. Like all model citizens, they will happily accept an opportunity to appear on stage with President Obama to praise his masterful but gentle successes in lifting them from their former (allegedly) antisocial lives by enhancing them through the superior medical care to which they are now entitled.
President Obama’s new war on antisocial behavior, like his Iranian nuke and ObamaCare initiatives, are already transforming the once hated United States into a differently-respected ally. It is becoming a brave new world for all.
UPDATE: It will work with ObamaBelievers. No price is too high to pay for the satisfaction of serving President Obama and the cause of redistribution.