U.S. Secretary of State John Kerry, widely proclaimed as a dedicated peacemaker regardless of any astronomical costs, is presently enroute to China to discuss the latest development. Fluent in Mandarin French, he hopes to arrange a land for peace swap. He will offer China all of Israel. In exchange, China must agree to perpetual and continuously rearranged modifications of her Lunar Defense Obliteration Zone (LDOZ). Under his plan, the LDOZ will exclude Iran as well as all Democrat controlled areas within the United States.
A high level Chinese source, the Minister of Supreme Happiness and Peace (the ministry was established recently to emulate Venezuela’s new Ministry of Supreme Social Happiness), has suggested that although the basic idea has merit, land swaps including South Korea and Japan – with which China’s mutually beneficial ties predate even those with the Moon — will more likely receive serious consideration.
Following the successful launch of its first lunar rover, the Chinese government has declared a defensive zone extending vertically from China into space and encompassing the moon.
The Lunar Defense Obliteration Zone, according to newly appointed space minister Wu Houyi, “will protect China’s core interests and interplanetary sovereignty.” All foreign spacecraft, satellites, comets and space debris must notify China before passing through or into the zone.
Due to orbital complications, the boundaries of the LDOZ will shift daily in accordance with the position of the moon relative to its sovereign power. China’s Ministry of Space has issued diagrams of the shifting boundaries, dubbed “the lasso.”
Many countries have disputed China’s ability to establish such a zone, but Chinese officials are adamant about the country’s claim to Earth’s only natural satellite.
“China’s historical ties to the moon date back at least five thousand years, perhaps more,” said Chen Guang, an…
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