President Obama’s SOTO address shortened, unexpectedly

Breaking news from Germany necessitated the cancellation of most of President Obama’s anxiously awaited bipartisan State of the Onion Address.

Obama at SOTUPresident Obama hustled off stage

According to an article titled Flatulent cows start fire at German dairy farm – police,

BERLIN (Reuters) – Methane gas from 90 flatulent cows exploded in a German farm shed on Monday, damaging the roof and injuring one of the animals, police said.

High levels of the gas had built up in the structure in the central German town of Rasdorf, then “a static electric charge caused the gas to explode with flashes of flames,” the force said in a statement.

One cow was treated for burns, a police spokesman added.

Cows

Cows in mourning

Due to the critical nature of the disaster — seriously impacting President Obama’s already strained relations with Germany — He was whisked immediately back to the White House to deal with the developing situation in consultation with His national security advisers. As Secret Service agents carried Him away, He was heard to scream

I have a pen and know how to use it!
Full speed ahead!
I’ll regulate everything!
I’m divisive decisive!
I shall overcome!
Shari forever! 
Down with Israel!
Up with Iran! 

PETA has demanded that President Obama immediately sever all relations with Germany until she enforces mandates that all cows have healthy diets and the affordable veterinary care they deserve and can afford. Scientists Against Gas (SAG) stated that all gasses seriously and uniquely endanger Mother Gaia and demanded that they be prohibited immediately by Executive Decree.

Unfortunately, President Obama had no choice but to cancel the rest of his address, the next part of which was to deal with the current situation in Egypt where

Mohammed Morsi, the Muslim Brotherhood’s former president of Egypt, threw quite a tantrum at his court appearance when he was put into a soundproof glass cage and told that he would not be allowed to address the court unless he raised his hand.

Every dictator fears ending up where Morsi is now and unlike Mussolini, Morsi had a much shorter run going from prison to power and back to prison in only a few years. [Emphasis added.]

This time he’s on trial for breaking out of prison, though the AP, like most media outlets, carefully avoids mentioning the charges.

NOTE: As of January 30th, the video is no longer available. This appears instead:
“This video is no longer available because the YouTube account associated with this video has been terminated.” Oh well.

A highly reliable White House confidential informant has advised that just as the unanticipated interruption prevented President Obama from continuing, He was about to demand termination of Morsi’s trial, release from prison and reinstatement as President of Egypt. Then, He had intended to proclaim His historic successes with the Affordable Care Act and His enlightened foreign policy initiatives, which will bring peace and prosperity to the entire Middle East despite Israeli petulance. Alas, He didn’t get that far. Perhaps He will have another opportunity.

ADDENDUM

If anyone is interested in a serious analysis of President Obama’s SOTU re foreign policy and particularly Iran, here’s a link to a good article at PJ Tatler titled Obama’s SOTU Remarks and Iran’s Negotiations Jihad.

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About danmillerinpanama

I was graduated from Yale University in 1963 with a B.A. in economics and from the University of Virginia School of law, where I was the notes editor of the Virginia Law Review in 1966. Following four years of active duty with the Army JAG Corps, with two tours in Korea, I entered private practice in Washington, D.C. specializing in communications law. I retired in 1996 to sail with my wife, Jeanie, on our sailboat Namaste to and in the Caribbean. In 2002, we settled in the Republic of Panama and live in a very rural area up in the mountains. I have contributed to Pajamas Media and Pajamas Tatler. In addition to my own blog, Dan Miller in Panama, I an an editor of Warsclerotic and contribute to China Daily Mail when I have something to write about North Korea.
This entry was posted in 2014, Congress, Cows, Democrats, Egypt, Executive Decree, Germany, Health Control, Iran, Israel, Middle East, Obama's America, Palestine, Shari law, State of the Onion Message and tagged , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

4 Responses to President Obama’s SOTO address shortened, unexpectedly

  1. Tom Carter says:

    I’ve often worried about this kind of catastrophe at a State of the Union address. Given the amount of flatulence and other forms of hot air present in that crowded chamber, one spark might doom everyone present while launching the dome of the Capitol into low Earth orbit.

    Whatever cabinet officer was left behind just in case something like this happens, perhaps the Secretary of the Department of Corruption Coverup, would become president, and all members of Congress and assorted other folks would be reduced to a stinky vapor.

    Hmmm…maybe not such a bad thing! (Note to the watchers: I’m kidding!)

  2. Brittius says:

    Reblogged this on Brittius.com and commented:
    That’s right… The sweet little cows give you honest bull shit, while Obama will only smother you with.., fake bullshit. Mind you, Obama does not like rivals.

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