Argentina has a severe ketchup crisis and we can help

Argentinia’s Ketchup Crisis must not go to waste.
It requires immediate Senate confirmation of President Obama’s appointment of 
Noah Bryson Mamet as U.S. Ambassador to Argentina.

Ketchup shortage

It has not been a good start of the year for Argentineans [sic.]: a collapsing currency value, rampant inflation, Lionel Messi losing out on his fourth straight FIFA Ballon d’Or and, maybe worst of all, the great McDonald’s ketchup shortage of 2014.

The fast food giant sent a message out via Twitter earlier this week apologizing for the inconvenience that Argentineans [sic.] will have to suffer through their Big Mac and French fries without the pre-requisite ketchup.

“The ketchup shortage at our local branches is momentary and we hope to solve it as soon as possible,” the McDonald’s tweet in Spanish said. “We’re bringing in other sauces to replace it while we try to fix the problem.”


Mr. Mamet has never been to Argentina and may (or may not) be familiar with fast food establishments. He may (or may not) speak Argentinian Spanish. However, he was a successful bundler for President Obama and the Democrat Party in 2012, “collecting at least $500,000, according to” He is, therefore, fully qualified to be our ambassador and should be capable of assisting Argentina in surviving and then ending her Ketchup Crisis.

Ketchup Kerry

As our ambassador, Mr. Mamet will be in close contact with equally qualified Secretary of State John “Ketchup” Kerry and therefore able to demonstrate his good will — and of course that of the United States — toward Argentina by dealing decisively with that poor nation’s most severe current crisis. Dealing with it will likely be the highlight of his, as well as Secretary Kerry’s, diplomatic careers.

Mr. Mamet’s confirmation and then close association with Secretary Kerry will (further) distract the latter from foreign policy issues in Iran and in the Israeli – Palestinian peace process. Granting Israel even temporary respite from Secretary Kerry’s bundling bungling there, and the world from his bungling in the Iranian nuke situation, require Mr. Mamet’s immediate confirmation.

UPDATE: Rick Moran at PJ Tatler asks why we send so many stupid, unqualified people overseas. To get them out of the country? Or just because that’s the way Washington malfunctions?

About danmillerinpanama

I was graduated from Yale University in 1963 with a B.A. in economics and from the University of Virginia School of law, where I was the notes editor of the Virginia Law Review in 1966. Following four years of active duty with the Army JAG Corps, with two tours in Korea, I entered private practice in Washington, D.C. specializing in communications law. I retired in 1996 to sail with my wife, Jeanie, on our sailboat Namaste to and in the Caribbean. In 2002, we settled in the Republic of Panama and live in a very rural area up in the mountains. I have contributed to Pajamas Media and Pajamas Tatler. In addition to my own blog, Dan Miller in Panama, I an an editor of Warsclerotic and contribute to China Daily Mail when I have something to write about North Korea.
This entry was posted in Argentina, Foreign aid, Heniz, John Kerry, Ketchup, Obama's America, Political class, Satire, Shortages, Snark, Unified State of Obama, United States and tagged , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

6 Responses to Argentina has a severe ketchup crisis and we can help

  1. OyiaBrown says:

    Reblogged this on Oyia Brown.

  2. Mike says:

    Really?! What other sauces?!

  3. Tom Carter says:

    When I was with USAID, I worked in seven embassies. I’m also familiar with the functioning of other embassies via the “grapevine.” I’ve known some ambassadors very well and dealt frequently with others. With very few exceptions, the professional ambassadors were far better at their jobs than the political appointees.

    One good example: One political appointee, a businessman and heavy contributor, wanted Marine guards in dress uniforms to ceremoniously greet him at the airport every time he returned from a trip. The local Marines refused, backed up by their higher command levels. The ambassador fumed; the rest of us quietly high-fived.

  4. Richard M Nixon (Deceased) says:

    Reblogged this on Dead Citizen's Rights Society.

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