Flash: Susan Rice Blames the Russian Invasion of Ukraine on Internet Video

Despite the clear causal relationship of the video, the U.N. Security Council is having urgent sessions on how best to deal with the Ukrainian crisis. As explained in my introduction to the article linked above,

The Ladies Knitting Society of Lake Wobegon, Minnesota has also called an urgent meeting on the crisis to decide whether Russian tea biscuits should continue to be served at their meetings. Although Russia lacks veto power there, unlike at the Security Council, the results of their meeting not are anticipated to have significantly more impact on the Ukraine crisis than those of the Security Council. President Obama was not available for comment. However, off-record remarks by high White Officials appeared to support efforts to boycott Russian tea biscuits as among the higher of the costs he contemplates for Russia.

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It has come to light that the Invasion of Ukraine by a Disorganized Mob of Russian Demonstrators is in response to an Internet Video.

The Video was purportedly criticizing the overuse of Sour Cream in the Russian Diet.  It also, reportedly, implied that Beets shouldn’t be considered a Food.

National Security Advisor Susan Rice has been scheduled to make several appearances on Sunday News Shows to fully explain the circumstances of this unfortunate event.

She has also issued a statement clarifying why there has been no United States response:  “We simply didn’t have any resources in the area capable of responding in time.”

Secretary of State John Kerry commented; “What, at this point, does it matter?”  It should be noted that Kerry made the statement in what some considered a “strange high-pitched kind of shouting, almost through his nose.”  At this time we’re not sure if he was mocking someone or simply…

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About danmillerinpanama

I was graduated from Yale University in 1963 with a B.A. in economics and from the University of Virginia School of law, where I was the notes editor of the Virginia Law Review in 1966. Following four years of active duty with the Army JAG Corps, with two tours in Korea, I entered private practice in Washington, D.C. specializing in communications law. I retired in 1996 to sail with my wife, Jeanie, on our sailboat Namaste to and in the Caribbean. In 2002, we settled in the Republic of Panama and live in a very rural area up in the mountains. I have contributed to Pajamas Media and Pajamas Tatler. In addition to my own blog, Dan Miller in Panama, I an an editor of Warsclerotic and contribute to China Daily Mail when I have something to write about North Korea.
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