Iran and Khamenei probably never existed.

What can one write about when there’s nothing new and interesting?
Here’s an idea for a new conspiracy theory: Iran and Supreme Leader Khamenei are imaginary, created to distract us from real problems by giving us somebody and something to hate. That’s always been a useful ploy.

Supreme Leader Khamenei recently said,

Does anybody dare talk about Holocaust in Europe? The Holocaust is an event whose reality is uncertain and, if it happened, it’s uncertain how it happened,” Khamenei said in an event in the northern city of Mashhad marking the Persian New Year’s Nowruz.

Could any sentient person make such claims? Many people have done so, but that does not mean that any sentient person would. That Khamenei did so raises questions not only about whether he is sentient but also about whether he and the alleged nation of which he is claimed to be the Supreme Leader even exist.

I have neither been to Iran nor met Khamenei; the maps and photos I have seen may, at best, be clever scams.

This alleged photo of Iranians involuntarily hanging tough might be of nothing more than a fraternity initiation proceeding at an Islamic university (or even at an interfaith mosque in Alabama). They may now be reclining on whoopee cushions, happily and peacefully as they memorize the Holy Koran to learn more devout and hence better ways to kill Jews, Christians and other infidels.

It’s all part of a diversionary Iran Scam

Iran, Khamenei and alleged P5+1 negotiations with alleged Iranians may be parts of a devious conspiracy theory, intended to distract the world from the horrors of anthropomorphic global warming (“AGW”). We know it exists, because St. Al the Gored has told us, repeatedly.

No less convincingly, Secretary Kerry has assured us not only that AGW exists but that it is the “most fearsome” horror facing all of humanity.

JAKARTA, Indonesia –  U.S. Secretary of State John Kerry on Sunday called climate change perhaps the world’s “most fearsome” destructive weapon and mocked those who deny its existence or question its causes, comparing them to people who insist the Earth is flat.

In a speech to Indonesian students, civic leaders and government officials, Kerry tore into climate change skeptics. He accused them of using shoddy science and scientists to delay steps needed to reduce emissions of greenhouse gases at the risk of imperiling the planet.

How can we be made to focus on real and undeniable problems if climate skeptics (not to mention ObamaCare skeptics) are permitted to distract us with probably non-existent, and at most minor, problems involving Iran, Khamenei, Islamist terror and nukes?

What would our hero, Big Bird say?

PS. One perhaps need not be a lunatic to come up with this stuff, but it helps.