Climate change deniers
Editor’s note: This is a guest post by my (imaginary) friend, the Very Honorable Ima Librul, Senator from the great State of
Confusion Utopia. He is a founding member of CCCEB (Climate Change Causes Everything Bad), a charter member of President Obama’s Go For it Team, a senior member of the Senate Foreign Relations Committee and Chairman of the Meretricious Relations Subcommittee. He is also justly proud of his expertise in the care and breeding of green unicorns, for which his Save the Unicorns Foundation has received substantial Federal grants. We are honored to have a post of this caliber by a quintessential Librul such as the Senator. Without (much) further delay, here is the Senator’s article, followed by my own observations. But first,
The 2.9% drop in U.S. Gross Domestic Product reported on June 25th clearly shows the unspeakably brutal damage done by climate change and worsened by those who deny it. Indeed, without them we would already have conquered climate change. All reputable scientists agree that the subject is closed. No more room for debate exists on climate change than on the perfections of ObamaCare, than that the Sun revolves around King Obama, that all true Americans want to bring the little children of Latin America (along with their beloved families) to share our bounty or on the equally great successes of all of King Obama’s other foreign and domestic policies.
King Obama’s administration, uniquely unmarked by any small taint of scandal and the most transparent in the history of the Universe, has been a great blessing to His whole Kingdom and, indeed, to the entire world. He, and He alone, has eliminated all threats to His Kingdom from foreign terrorists; now our concerns need to be focused on climate change deniers, Tea Party terrorists and their ilk — racists all. King Obama has decreed that good and proper steps be taken to neutralize them and other racists; He knows that mere appeasement will not suffice. Someday soon, willing or not, they will be made to understand that they, along with everyone else, belong to His Government and must act accordingly. The truth shall make them free!
King Obama is very, very angry that partisan opposition from climate change deniers, racists, Tea Party terrorists and other knuckle-dragging thugs has limited His opportunities to do even more
to for His people.
This remarkably candid yet persuasive letter from
Orgasms for Obama Organizing for Action deals only with climate change deniers because they are the single greatest threat to His Kingdom:
Friend –They’ve spent millions to fund climate change denial … and they’re just getting started.The Koch brothers and their allies just announced their plan to spend nearly $300 million this year to not only elect climate change deniers, but also to oppose President Obama’s plan to curb carbon pollution from power plants.That’s their game plan: spend as much as humanly possible to get their way.We’re the ones who get to tell them that’s not going to work this time — our grassroots movement doesn’t have to outspend them, but we need to have the resources to fight back.Help take on the Koch brothers’ anti-climate campaign — chip in $5 or more today before our June fundraising deadline.The President’s climate plan isn’t small potatoes — it would reduce carbon emissions from existing power plants 30 percent by 2030. The New York Times called it “the strongest action ever taken by an American president to tackle climate change.”It’s no coincidence that dirty polluters and special interests like the Koch brothers are pouring their money into shutting down the President’s plan.This is a time when being a grassroots movement pays off — no matter how much the other side spends, everything we’re doing is focused on reaching actual people.As long as each of us steps up to play a part, what we’re building is the single greatest threat to these interests’ strategies.If you believe in that, we’re asking you to support it with a donation today.Help build the biggest, baddest grassroots movement around — chip in $5 or more today:
National Director of Issue Campaigns
Organizing for Action
Climate change deniers are wealthy due to their ill-got gains from robbing the poor and weak, stealing Mother Gaia’s precious resources and truly outrageous support from their equally corrupt enablers. However, those who oppose their vile obstructionism are neither billionaires nor even millionaires. Many of us are dead broke because we have devoted our lives to serving the public as they deserve.
Notwithstanding our poverty, we are strong because we are pure of heart and great in spirit. We shall overcome, not merely someday but someday soon, in sha’Allah
Now the obstructionist sillies in the House of Representatives are threatening to sue King Obama for overreaching His powers. He does not even know how to do that! They will find it entertaining, however, and perhaps as they roll laughing in the aisles they will forget to promote climate deniers and other reckless fools.
Editor’s closing note: Oh well. Fruitcake, anyone?