Rabid Rats Disparaged, CAIR Threatens

The Council Against Inhumanity to Rodents (CAIR) today announced that even though not all of the millions of Rodents on Earth are Rats, and even though not all Rats are rabid, all rats are being mercilessly disparaged due to the un-Rat actions of a few. Ratophobia must cease!

Happy rat

(Please see also, USA Today: U.S. cities face anti-Muslim backlash and Obama Praises “Enormous” Muslim Contributions to Our Country.)

Sadly, there was recently a deplorable incident in which a poor, disenfranchised Muslim woman was bitten by a rat. While hard at work in the kitchen preparing a tasty evening meal with which to poison her beloved husband, an Islamophobic Rat jumped on her back and bit her. Unable to get to a hospital for treatment because all of her male relatives were worshiping at the local mosque and hence unavailable to accompany her, she died of rabies.

Because of this isolated Islamophobic incident involving a disturbed Rat, her friends and relatives promptly began to say unkind things about Rats and some even attempted to kill Rats — despite the lack of credible evidence that any of them were even rabid. Islamophobia is bad, and we have often counseled against it.

However, Ratophobia is even worse. Fewer than all Rats are rabid, and to assume that they are — or that the vast majority of non-rabid Rats are somehow responsible for the actions of those that are rabid — is disgraceful.

Our great nation owes tremendous debts to Rats, which have done much to make her grow and prosper. Had countless denizens of our teeming cities not migrated west to escape the rats in their apartment buildings and sewers, there would have been no westward expansion and the United States would now cower along the Atlantic Coast alone. There would be no San Bernardino and no sanctuary cities in California.

Rats, even rabid Rats, have feelings. They are sensitive to disparagements and to the loss of the freedoms they once enjoyed and still deserve. Many peaceful Rats are confined in small cages and used in medical experiments. In consequence, they experience great pain and suffering. We demand that such maltreatment of our brother Rats, and all other maltreatments — the use of Rat traps, for example — cease. Neither we nor our dear brother and sister Rats will be able to control Rat reactions if they are not. You have been warned. You had better change your ways or watch out!

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About danmillerinpanama

I was graduated from Yale University in 1963 with a B.A. in economics and from the University of Virginia School of law, where I was the notes editor of the Virginia Law Review in 1966. Following four years of active duty with the Army JAG Corps, with two tours in Korea, I entered private practice in Washington, D.C. specializing in communications law. I retired in 1996 to sail with my wife, Jeanie, on our sailboat Namaste to and in the Caribbean. In 2002, we settled in the Republic of Panama and live in a very rural area up in the mountains. I have contributed to Pajamas Media and Pajamas Tatler. In addition to my own blog, Dan Miller in Panama, I an an editor of Warsclerotic and contribute to China Daily Mail when I have something to write about North Korea.
This entry was posted in CAIR, Islamophobia, Ratist rage, Ratophobia, Satire and tagged , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

3 Responses to Rabid Rats Disparaged, CAIR Threatens

  1. There is no such thing as Rabid. I know better than believe alchemists and sorcerers using that fear giving name rabies. The shots are enough to make animals convulse with a seizure. Detergent and Polysorbate 80 in the blood can do that. Aluminum is meant for bike and car parts. They are not meant to go into the blood of a living being. Taxidermists and marine biologists use formaldehyde. Mercury used to be in thermometers being banned. Lead is no longer used in paint. Detergent is used to clean clothes. All of that is in Vaccinations. people are being fooled.

  2. Pingback: Satire | Rabid Rats Disparaged, CAIR Threatens |

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