Were the Obama Scandals “Phony?”

That all depends on the meaning of  “sex” “phony.”

But I”m a GOOD little boy.

There is a procedure through which the Obama Scandals can be deemed to be phony regardless of the facts. Consider the procedural device attempted to be used to “deem” ObamaCare to have been passed by the House without voting on it. Hence, anyone prepared to deem something false to be true or vice versa can easily deem any or all of the Obama Scandals phony.

There are also other useful ploys. Some common definitions and synonyms for “phony” are provided at the link. In a bipartisan effort to be fair — in a common sense way to President Obama — here are a few additional definitions under which any Obama Scandal can be rationalized as phony.

♥ Since everything reported by His Legitimate Media is intended to glorify Him, anything that fails to do so must have come from a rogue (illegitimate) source and is, therefore, phony.

♥ Scandal reports may not be untrue per se, but they are not scandals because that’s the way stuff is meant to happen because elections are meant have consequences.

♥ Some unpleasant facts have to be concealed for political national security reasons or to prevent even one small child from being frightened. It is not scandalous to conceal any information that might harm any of them. Indeed, it would be scandalous to reveal it.

Any small child could be frightened by a man with a shredded leg and any Obama Scandal could make it more difficult for Him to achieve His legacy. There have been no Obama Scandals and even if there had been, what difference does Benghazi (or anything else) make now — almost a year later?

♥ Private scandals are pushed only by right wing conspiracy terrorists theorists and are, therefore, phony. President Obama has been hounded by vast right-wing conspiracies since before He assumed office. Therefore, anyone who claims that any of His scandals are real is, ipsi dixit (also known as the “bare assertion fallacy”), a pusher of a vast right-wing conspiracy theory and hence a liar. Precipitated by distrust of Government, all right-wing conspiracy theories are also wicked and phony for that additional reason as well.

♥ We must move forward, not backward, in considering alleged scandals. Whatever difference they may once have made, they make no difference now and are, therefore, now phony.

♥ Any useful crisis (e.g., immediate needs for comprehensive legislation to implement more gun control, more health control, more free stuff, immigration reform and to end the scourge of climate change) preempts any perceived scandal, rendering it phony. If useful, more crises can be created and no useful crisis that President Obama et al claim is real can be preempted or even disputed.

Please, Great One, tell how climate change endangers unicorns.

During his NBC Tonight Show monologue, the host [Jay Leno] said, “In his speech about the economy, President Obama said we’ve all been distracted by phony scandals, and it’s time we started getting distracted by the phony recovery.” [Insert added.]

That’s a useful (and hence valid) pivot for our divot maker in chief. Besides, the United States, like Europe, is a developing country and it’s all part of His strategy to push His current domestic agenda while simultaneously improving relations with Europe.

A key part of the Obama strategy in the coming months will be to paint austerity measures in Europe as a failure, arguing that Congressional Republicans want the same approach in America.

♥ President Obama’s alleged scandals are transparent and hence are phony because only Libruls could be deceived by them and even they should know better.

Rich Baehr PJ Media has this to say:

Obama’s recent talks have referred to what he calls “phony scandals,” which are allegedly distracting Congress from its real work — to pass the president’s agenda. Jay Carney, the president’s press secretary and loyal hack, had introduced this language  before Obama repeated it. A few months ago, the president argued that the IRS’s targeting of tea party groups and the Justice Department’s tracking of reporters were serious issues that needed to be investigated. Now that the IRS scandal is getting perilously close to the White House (was the IRS targeting a directive from Obama, rather than the agency making policy after following the gist of Obama’s political speeches?), a pivot away from “phony scandals” may have seemed necessary, even with the mainstream press having largely dropped the scandal stories in favor of the race baiting that has taken over since the George Zimmerman verdict.

Distractions are necessary for President Obama to achieve the legacy He deserves wants. He and His trusted media can and do create proper crises and scandals; all others are pernicious and could harm The One the nation He so dearly loves.

And now a few words from Sarah Palin: